Police and uniform fantasies

Police and uniform fantasies are a wonderful jerk-off template for many men. But before you put your fantasies into practice, you should take the same safety precautions that are common in the S&M scene.

With a police session, however, you have to pay attention to some peculiarities, because their equipment has to be used with caution and some of the things that make you squirt in your imagination are actually dangerous as hell.

Handcuffs

for instance. The sound when they close is erotic and nasty at the same time. They give you an intense experience but can also cause problems if you use them as your main bondage tool or for hanging on them. Too tightly closed Handcuffs cut off the blood circulation to the hands.

Other problems are bruised or injured nerves due to the strong pressure of the metal. It is much better when the handcuffed person closes them himself by allowing him to press against a surface. Professional handcuffs also have a locking mechanism that prevents them from closing further after locked. Nerve damage, although rarely permanent, can leave your hands numb or tingling for hours, days or even weeks. You can avoid this problem by padding your wrists before you cuff them. Bondage is cool, but it has to be comfortable. 😏

Of course, it might be useful to wear a key with you always. For the common types of handcuffs you need at least two different ones. Personally, I always have one with my bunch of keys. You never know where you might end up. If you lose yours, you can always find a replacement at the nearest police station. They know what to do. And in the worst case – just ask a real cop on the street!

Cable ties

are thin plastic straps with a disposable fastener, usually used as one-way restraints. Using them is a bad idea for several reasons:

• They can be tightened but not loosened again.
• They are difficult to cut open – you need scissors or a knife and you can hurt the tied person with them when you try to free them
• They are thin and cut in too much.

It is incredibly stupid to use disposable cuffs as cock rings!

Batons

are fetish objects made of wood or plastic. Police officers usually use them to intimidate offenders. Since their diameter is the same or smaller than a usual dildo, they can be inserted a little way into the ass. Sometimes this is more sophisticated than fucking, fisting or using other toys, especially if you know where the prostate is located.

The asshole and the adjacent rectum are tubular, but do not run straight. A few centimeter behind the sphincter begins the mucous membrane of the rectum and a little further on it bends upwards in front of the spine. Part of this bend is supported by muscle tissue known to Fisters as the internal sphincter.

With gentle pressure you can relax this muscle and gain access to the back areas. After another 10 cm, the bowel bends to the left. Experienced fisters can ‘straighten’ this curve by gently feeling with their fingers, but this does not always work. If you try to force it, you can easily damage the sensitive intestinal mucosa. That’s why for a truncheon is the end of the line here at the latest!

Batons are hard, unlike a long dildo or your feeling hand. You can’t feel where to go with it. When fucking with a baton, you should mark a line no more than 10 to 15 cm from the end, which you may not cross no matter how much the bottom begs for it! Take your time and be careful not to damage anything inside your partners ass.

Avoid enthusiastic fucking when you are inside. Aim the stick at your partner’s belly button when trying to get the right turn in the back of the colon. This works best when he is lying in a sling or on his back with his legs up. Enemas are not necessary for this type of play, in fact the rectal irritation caused by an enema actually increases the risk of bleeding.

Wood is also a porous material and easily becomes a carrier for bacteria and viruses. So use a condom here too and put a little more lubricant on it because a stick is comparatively hard. Make sure that the stick is absolutely smooth so that you don’t get splinters in your ass. Even if you put on a condom, you have to clean and disinfect the baton afterwards.

Another form of baton is the baseball bat. Since this sport is not very widespread in Europe, skinheads in particular like to decorate themselves with it and pose martially in front of the camera if you ask them nicely. Just make sure you get the right skinheads and not a nationalist youth group. Otherwise you’ll end up in hospital sooner than you’d like.

A baseball bat, like the ones you get in stores here, is unsuitable for fucking, by the way, because its surface is not smooth enough.

The following groups of people should avoid this kind of anal play: if you have a rectal infection, haemorrhoids, heart problems of any kind or, for example, Crohn’s disease (inflammation of the large intestine that occurs in episodes).

Unexpected bleeding after the session, fever, unclear abdominal pain and vomiting are serious warning signals, e.g. for a ruptured intestine. Then go to the doctor or call the emergency service!

Guns

It goes without saying that real, functioning guns are completely out of place in a cop scene. However, in some gun shops there are practice pistols that look completely real, but the barrel is blocked – so they can’t shoot accidentally.

Pointing a gun at someone is one of the most terrifying things you can do to them. If you take the active part in a police act, don’t use real weapons and talk to your partner about it beforehand so that the experience is not traumatic for him.

If you are the bottom, ask yourself if you trust in your top completely. You are not sure? Then leave it alone!

The barrel of a training gun is phallic, round and thinner than the batons we just talked about. Still, fucking with a gun barrel is not a good idea. Just like with cable ties, the same applies here: The thinner the diameter, the bigger the pressure you apply with it. You can easily pierce the intestinal mucosa with a longer gun barrel and not even notice it!

Tear gas and pepper spray

There is no way to use it in a consensual session. Once you use it, it works until it is removed (and that may need some time) – regardless of whether the other person gives their stop sign. Use it only as a visual signal to emphasise your role, not more!

Gloves

Many of us know policemen from US series who are wearing those stupid plastic gloves that make them look like cavemen. There are so many cool gloves for policemen. Shooting gloves made of black leather or alternatively provided with an additional compartment on the back of the hand that can hold a lead insert. That makes them more threatening but also more dangerous – even a light punch has much more force than with the flat of the hand. You’d better forget about slapping someone hard with it. Visually, however, they are very exciting.

Chokeholds

I put it second, after guns, for the fear factor. It only needs a little pressure on the front of the throat to deliver the experience. The grip prevents you from breathing deeply, even though you can still get air. Again, large surfaces exert comparatively less pressure than small ones. Pulling a thin cord around someone’s neck is extremely dangerous because you will inevitably injure the windpipe, and because you will also squeeze the carotid arteries, which will cut off the blood flow to the brain. People often doing that in movies, but only if they want to kill!

Gentle pressure with the palm of the hand or the inside of the elbow can be very scary for the bottom without really endangering him. If you use the palm instead of the elbow as a ‘cop’, you have more control over the situation because you feel what you are doing.

The windpipe is a muscular tube that connects the larynx to the bronchi. The front is covered with U-shaped cartilaginous ligaments that support it and prevent it from collapsing. Mild pressure with the palm of the hand does not close it. What really happens is that it is pushed backwards against the oesophagus. Nevertheless, the bottom has the feeling of being choked, while at the same time breathing faster because it frightens him and he feels that his windpipe is more closed than it really is.

Gentle pressure is safe. Never injure the trachea with a sudden blow! The mucous membranes swell immediately and can obstruct the airway completely. Then be glad if there is a doctor nearby who can intubate!

I don’t need to point out that you never choke a person with lung or heart problems! It is equally important that you know where the carotid arteries are (so you can stay away from them!).

If you slide your fingers from the centre of the windpipe to any side, you will feel a pulsating artery on both sides. Pressure on either of them will close off the blood supply to one side of the brain. Contrary to popular belief, however, this does not cause immediate damage. The brain cells only die if the blood supply is cut off for more than four minutes. Nevertheless – after only a few seconds, the strangled person faints.

If this happens, place him flat on the floor immediately. If he does not wake up after a few seconds, is confused afterwards or otherwise behaves unusually, please seek medical help as soon as possible!

Another problem with pressure near the carotid arteries is that you hit the ‘carotid sinus’. This is a branch of the carotid artery where receptors are located. They control blood pressure and heartbeat. Pressure on the sinus carotis slows the pulse, lowers the blood pressure and will knock the other person out very fast. Again, if he faints, lay him flat on the floor immediately!

Whenever you play with breath control or other extreme forms of stimulation, an accident can always happen. No matter how careful the top is, something always goes wrong. Some people discover a birth defect such as cardiac arrhythmia in the middle of a session. Every epileptic has their first seizure at some point, and if you are very unlucky, it will happen to you. Unexpected things often happen.

It is important for anyone active in a session, that you know what to do in the event of a serious accident. No matter whether you are playing in public, in groups or at home alone with your lover. I strongly recommend every member of the fetish and BDSM scene to take a first aid course from time to time!

A typical police grip to convince an unruly offender that it’s better to obey is the headlock. At the latest here, you should deal more intensively with the subject matter. Be sure to read my workshop on Breath Control beforehand.

Vertrauen

Polizei-Sessions sind sehr intensiv. Du verkörperst eine machtvolle Autorität. Wir können unsere Eltern und unsere Lehrer verdrängen, aber mit der Polizei werden wir immer wieder konfrontiert. Schwule und Fetischfreunde bekommen immer noch öfter als andere Gruppen unangenehm mit der Polizeimacht zu tun. Gerade bei Polizei-Spielen muß jeder Top also wach sein für Anzeichen, daß der Bottom an seine emotionellen Grenzen kommt. Der Bottom hat die Verantwortung, den Top dies wissen zu lassen wenn das passiert. Es passiert leicht, daß während so einer Session längst vergessen geglaubte Traumata an die Oberfläche kommen – auch beim aktiven Part.

Sei auch vorsichtig, wenn ihr in der Öffentlichkeit spielt. So manches ‘Uniformtreffen’ endete unfreiwillig auf der Polizeiwache. Echte Cops finden es nämlich gar nicht lustig, wenn man ihre Kleidung – und vor allem ihre Abzeichen – in der Öffentlichkeit trägt. Der Richter, vor dem Du dann landet, vermutlich auch nicht.

Du meinst, Du bist auf der sicheren Seite, weil Du nur die Kleidung und Abzeichen eines US-Cops trägst und Dich außerdem auf einem Karnevalsumzug oder dem CSD befindest? Das kann gutgehen, vor allem wenn echte Polizisten selbst im Umzug mitlaufen und Du mit ihnen darüber sprichst. Verlasse Dich aber besser nicht darauf.

Egal wie männlich die Uniform ist, wie schön die Stiefel glänzen, wie wohlbestückt der Pistolenhalfter ist und wie sorgfältig auch die Choreographie des Szenarios ausgearbeitet wird, sind sie doch nicht so sexy wie Ehrlichkeit und Vertrauen aufeinander. Darauf muß der Austausch der Macht basieren!

Nachwort:

Dieser Texte stammt in Teilen aus einem im Original englischsprachigen Artikel, der in den Neunzigern in einem »Fachmagazin« veröffentlicht wurde. Ich habe ihn seinerzeit sehr frei übersetzt, ergänzt und jetzt noch einmal überarbeitet, auf den Stand der heutigen Zeit gebracht und für unseren Webshop aufbereitet. Möge er Dir nützlich sein.

Dein Mike